I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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