You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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