So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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