Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Life is so much better after having sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
