Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
