So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
