lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
