Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
