I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
