If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
