She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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