Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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