ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
