That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
