im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
