'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
