he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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