That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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