So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
