she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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