I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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