Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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