It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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