I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
