These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
