Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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