just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
