Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
