there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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