Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
