HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
