You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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