Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
