Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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