6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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