The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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