yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
