Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
