And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
