it wasn't lemon gatorade
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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