Can Purell be used as lube?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You've changed since you got that strap on
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