office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
