im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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