Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
