Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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