this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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