$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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