Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Come share oat with me in your robe
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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