And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
