i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
