Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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